Seventy Percent of all statistics are made up

-A female relative who recently became available said that she’s going on a strict diet.
“Stan”, she said. “A single woman can be neurotic, psychotic, irrational, unreasonable, schizophrenic and even delusional, but she cannot be fat.”
She’s right. A recent survey tells us that 56% of U.S. women would much rather have thinner waists than a higher I.Q.

-When going out to eat 28% prefer American food, 22% choose Italian, 17% prefer Mexican and 16% like Chinese. I was once told that when going out to eat, Jewish people eat more Italian food than any other nationality in the world… and Jewish people eat more Chinese food than any other nationality in the world…. And if Jewish people stop eating out, two whole countries go out of business.

-Lies, damn lies and statistics